I'm sure that you've obviously noticed the change in templates (again :P) of this blog.
I felt that with the recent change you all now know of that my blog needed another change.
So I went online and searched for a good template to use now, and I found two.

I chose this one because it's green and the dinosaur was too cute to not let it prance next to the title of my blog. :P
I'm not too fond of the dark brown on the right collumn, but I may start messing around with the HTML and change it - problem would be that I don't know anything about HTML and I'll probably break it :P

The second one I found I will also use, sooner or later. So, gonna be a surprise, I guess :P
I'll probably get bored of the simplicity of the current template, so yeah...

I hope you guys like the dinosaur, though :P Curious what name I should give him (yes male... he's a male cause I says so. :P)

3 days into the diet and look at this... I'm aliivveee!!!!!!

Lol, it's not as bad as I thought it would be. That's most likely thanks to my sister who's been super supportive and made me food, and forced me to eat it. xD But it wasn't that bad. :)

I do miss those sandwiches I used to eat. Sigh... me wants now D;
But oh well, I'll get over it. I'll forget what it tastes like, and I'll forget all about the sandwich, lol. It'll be fine :)

I did eat one thing this morning that I shouldn't have. This yoghurt thing with 3% fat in it. But hey, not that bad, I guess... I was simply in a hurry. I remember thinking: ok, I'm going to hell!

Lol, not that bad... I'll get used to eating the things I should in the morning. I'm not used to eating in the morning, so I'm kinda all proud that I managed to eat in the morning every morning for three days, lol.

Keep on going, yup... keep on going :)
Not that hard, thanks to all the support I'm getting from everybody, I don't feel so alone :)

Today (or tomorrow, I'm really bad with the number of days a month has, but w/e :P) is the last day of the first month since I have this blog, and I'd like to take a look at the overview.

I started out with the explanation to why I named my blog like this, and where my username originates from, both the same place obviously :P

I had ups and downs, and I wrote about them; and I can safely say that after writing it all down for you, trusted readers, to read made me feel better everytime.

I met new people, most important one of them being Panic Girl, who's faithfully read all my posts and gave me useful comments I could buil on.

I made it through the month with this blog, people, and I have no intention of abandoning it. I have no intention of just stopping.
One month... and I intend to make it a few more at least :)

My trusted readers, thanks for reading so far! I hope you keep on returning for the posts to come :)

Just a small post saying thanks to Panic Girl and that noob of a Yoeper/Moe' Suckra. :P
You're both really sweet :)

Panic Girl, thanks for wanting to help me out, means a lot :D I would just like you to know that just reading your blog encourages me enough from your part, so you don't have to start the diet; my older sister decided to do it with me, so I think that's good enough. :)

And noob, I'm already grateful if you just make me food xD
And you don't have to eat just what I eat as well, I know you love cheese too much :P

It encourages me that I have the two of you behind me from the other side of the world :)
And my sister from right here. What more could I wish for, right?

I truly am blessed!

Nearly two weeks have gone and only now do I appear again with a new post to this blog. I have my various reasons for being absent, one of them being the lack of events in those two weeks and the other my incredibly encouraging talk with my doctor.

Yup... doctor, this is what this post will be about. I can't not write about the event, because it appears to be a rather big event in my life right now, and so I'd like to share with you guys, my trusted readers.

So, I'll start from the beginning of this story, so it will be more clear to those of you who don't know what the frack I'm talking about :P

About a month ago I went to see a doctor, a specialist in *insert her domain of work here*. She examined me, and they took my blood and told me to come back when the results were ready.
The reason why I went in the first place is because I've been having headaches and stomachaches, and all kind of strange anomalies with my body. First doctor I went to gave me a treatment which resulted in me being in even more pain and a humonguess gain of weight (at least 20 kg).
So this time I went to see the doctor who was the best in the region and obviously specialised in he field.

So here I am, a month later, sitting in the waiting room. I could notice that the whole floor had been renovated, everything renewed, it was quite comfortable for a hospital. I'm watching the door waiting for the lady before me to come out, and when she finally does I get up, take my jacket and go inside, along with my mother.
The doctor asked a few questions, looked at the results of my blood tests, and then started talking doctor-gibberish with her assistant with a few breaks to talk on the phone to anounce her friend she was leaving for Germany (don't ask, doctors are a bit weird from where I come from) after which she turned to my mother and I and started:

"The good news is you don't have diabetes. The bad news is your body thinks you do so it acts as if you have diabetes. If you don't treat this now you will have severe diabetes in about 20 years, so to prevent this you will have to go on a very strict diet. I've written down some things you aren't allowed to eat anymore and the things you are still allowed to eat."

I look at her with scared eyes. I hate diets, they are always useless in my oppinion. But hearing that I have a "wannabe" diabetes which could develop into a very severe case of diabetes wasn't a very pretty thing to look forward to.

"Alright, no cookies and sweets obviously. Definitely no sugar, no honey, no cheese, no bananas, no pears, no grapes, no peanuts or any other kind of nut. No bread, no potatoes, no pasta or spaghetti, only with tomato sauce without meat and no more than 3 times a week........"

The list went on, and eventually she said everything I eat in my everyday life. I was looking at her, eyes wide and eventually just stated that I couldn't eat anything I could buy in a store anymore. She laughed at my remark, since I said it with a half smile, and then gave a list of what I could eat.

"You can eat apples, vegetables, oranges, low fat yoghurt, low fat this low fat that..."

This made me a bit more comfortable, although still I felt like crying. I smiled and laughed, and made jokes about the whole thing. My mother laughed, the doctor laughed, the assistent laughed. It was allright, everything was.
She also told me a series of medication I had to take for a longer period of time. I'll become a junkie now, lol. I don't like the medication, but what can I do...

I am now still holding my tears in, I'm still strong enough to tell myself it's going to be alright. It's a big change in my lifestyle, I will have to be treated like a diabetic, just without the insuline shots.
What I hate the most is that I have no other choice but to drag my family into this; they need to adapt to my style of living now, because if I fail with this entire diet thing there's a big chance I'll be dead by 50.

Despite the fact that I am not very fascinated about the whole near future right now, on some level I am amused. I can laugh about my made up term for my condition - "wannabe" diabetes - and I am amused that my life could have such a drastic turn of events. I do believe that this may eventually turn out into something good.
The next few weeks, however, I am not awaiting gladly. I was never a big fan of drastic changes, but I guess right now I'll have to accept it as it is and do as the nice doctor says. ;)

In my last post I wrote I was looking forward to the night in church. Well, that didn't go through due to people having to be someplace else. However, the night did prove to be a good one, and it surely brightened me up :)

I went off to the Casa de Cultura (House of Culture) for the guitar class my brother in law gives, and played kindergarten teacher.
It was fun, despite the fact I couldn't really pay attention to what my brother was saying. I had two little girls of 7 and 8 to explain the guitar things to, my brother has the tendency to go a bit too fast for them. :P They're both very smart and they catch on extremely quick.
What was another awesome thing that brightened me up was that I managed to be nice and welcoming to two new boys joining our class. At the end I said I hoped they'd come again and they both flashed a smile and said they'd be back. Made me smile too :) Partially cause one of them was nice and the other one was pretty hot. xD
Anyhoooo.... the night was good. Those two guy coming and me being able to be nice to them (and the only one to approach them) despite my mood brightened me up, because even though it seemed small, it's an achievement. :)

I woke up early the next morning. Well... 8 am ish, a bit late for the first class in school but that was alright. I called my friend, asked if she was in school, she was so I said I'd come as well.
The morning was very beautiful, and warm. I could really smell spring in the air. I didn't pay too much attention to the people and cars around me, I just smelled the air and listened to the soundtrack of Dirty Dancing, one of my favorite soundtracks of all time!

I managed to stay until the end of school, which was 2 pm, even survived a test. And at the end my mood still wasn't broken into pieces.
A good day, I must say. Lets hope I can keep it up. :)

I'm a bit better today.
No school, still, however I did get up at 8:30-ish and watched Walt Disney's Fantasia. Calmed me down a bit more that did. Fantasia - a marvelous piece of art.
I then started on my painting and nearly finished it, had lunch and then accepted the offer of a cup of tea - something I had been refusing for the past week despite the fact that I do like tea a lot.
I even picked up my book - The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring - and continued reading, another thing I hadn't been doing, for over 2-3 weeks now.
I am getting better indeed. Although I don't seem to be able to get out of the house yet. I couldn't make the decision to go to the library with my mother and sister today. I guess for more reasons... or I plainly just don't know. Probably that last.

I think that today I want to read. I wish I could read all day today, but I still have to go out to the Casa de Cultura (House of Culture) after which I have to go to church so I can try to follow my brother in law who leads the worship on his guitar. He wants me to learn the songs on my own guitar so I can fill in for him when he's out of the country. I'm not going to give my opinion on that fact, I simply decided to do as he says, I have too much else to worry about. Let him worry about this.
I am, however, looking forward to tonight's meeting. My brother in law is an extremely skilled guitar player and thought the songs are at a normal speed he adds things which makes the chords more complex, faster and harder to follow. I remain behind a lot, but I like it at that speed and while he plays because then I can just mind my own business without anybody interfering; they're busy singing themselves.
I hope tonight will be the same as last time, and I really hope that my mood of the past days won't interfere.
Maybe I'll feel even better.
Hopes are up.

This song also made me feel a bit better today. :)