No... I don't want it!
I feel that mood of despair and sadness starting to come over me again. And I don't want it! I want it to leave me alone!
Now I'm just hovering around the house, looking at random things, thinking about random nothings just to try to keep that mood away from me. I don't want it! I'm scared of what will happen when it comes.

Why is it that everytime I need your help you're not around? It's like a curse or something... whenever my mood is shifting into something bad you're either sleeping, or at school or I don't know where else you could be. I don't blame you, it's just my bad luck.

So now, that I'm alone again, trying my hardest to keep my thoughts positive and keep those tears away, I just sit here; don't have anything to do.
I could paint, but painting often lets my mind trail off and in this situation I'd rather not.

I have a feeling that this won't be over by tomorrow. It needs to be, I need to go to school, and this mood always keeps me from doing so. I'm dropping, falling, out of control.
I suppose it would be easy for people to just tell me to get over it, to just control it like a normal person. But I have no control.
I am at the mercy of angels and demons.