Trapped

Boredom kills me lately!
It's weird cause I shouldn't be bored at all. I have so many things I SHOULD be doing, but I never come around to it; probably because of mutliple reasons, the biggest one of them being that I just don't want to!


Being in my final year of highschool I have major exams coming up, and on top of that I have a rather huge project I have to finish for my art class.
I hate being pushed to do things, I hate feeling trapped by what other people want me to do. It reminds me of how I sit in this cage along with all those things society tells you you should be doing.
I guess it could be compared to being trapped inside the matrix! 
Unfortunately I don't have a Morpheus to swoop in and pull me out with the lines: you take the blue pill your journey ends here, you take the red pill and I'll show you just how deep the rabbit hole goes...
I would take the red pill. That would most definitely mean a harder life, but a life in freedom!


Well... in any case, I'm stuck right now. Stuck in life as I know it, and I can't change it for God knows what reason. I need to prepare for those exams - although that isn't the hardest part; I need to work on my art project! However, because I am forced to do it I have lost all my inspiration, and I've lost all my determination along with it. 
I love painting, drawing, colouring... but with this I am forced into it. And I am NOT forced. It might sound like I'm being a stubborn little idiot, but my stubbordness is something I can not control. 
I am battling my way through this project, against myself. In my mind... it's a fierce and violent battle... 
Now just to see which one of me is going to win.